“Do not do or cause your loved one to do, anything that will impede the flow of love.” By: ElRoyPoet, 2020
Analogy: Do not do or cause your partner to do anything that will impede the flow of communication, because if the river is dammed, you or your partner will either drown or die from thirst depending on which side you’re on. Think about it today. I thought of it too late!
“One of the problems is that a lot of toxic relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love—you know, that dizzying and irrational kind. Men and women are encouraged to objectify each other and to objectify their romantic relationships. Thus, our partners are often seen as achievements or prizes rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.” Listen to 6 Signs of a Toxic Relationship You Might Think Are Normal
6 Reasons Why People Leave The One They Love—When They
- Don’t feel respected.
- Don’t feel emotionally supported.
- Lack non-sexual physical intimacy.
- Don’t feel adequate.
- Don’t feel listened to.
- Don’t feel like they’re in a committed relationship.
Top 3 viewer comments:
- “I’ve been in six total relationships and all of them were short lived. While this helped me to grasp a better idea of why people leave me so early, I still feel like I did fine with them and it’s confusing. I get paranoid that they have reasons that they aren’t telling me and it leads to distrust in all of my relationships, platonic or romantic. I can’t tell if it changed me for better or worse, or if I just haven’t found my someone special yet. Having irrational fears of being left alone is depressing because I can’t explain what happened or why I’m getting so worked up over it. There are times when I worry so much about my friends not liking me that I simply act on impulse and say dumb things. More often then not, it’s hard to explain to people how heartbreak can change a person. I’m making an effort to return to a better, more whole version of me, although progress is difficult.
- When you’re married, you really can’t leave except for a very few reasons and they need to be big. It needs to be something like domestic assault, adultery, or illegal activity. If you’re not married yet, then you can leave for smaller reasons. But marriage is supposed to be something sacred. You really got to think long and hard before making those lifelong vows, particularly the part about for better or worse. If your partner starts getting to the point where you’re carrying too much of the load, you have to verbally confront them on it, and if they leave because they didn’t like that confrontation, at least it’s not your fault.
- I have one major issue with this video, namely the “emotional connection” part. The problem I have, is that people forget oxytocin stops producing after so long and that feeling of “being in love” is no longer there. This is where it is up to that person to remind themselves what the core components of the person they loved are and to CHOOSE to love them still. Love is odd, it starts out as a sensation, evolves to a choice, then becomes a sensation again. Getting married is supposed to say “I know there’s going to be a point where I question this, but as long as we don’t cheat or beat on each other, we can work it out”. If you know that you can be open with your emotions with others, but NOT with the person that you love, that’s a big problem that you need to address sooner than later. Don’t be ashamed of whether or not you feel wide open with someone. What’s important is that you both feel, not only safe with one another, but brave. Cognitive empathy over emotional. Needing each other is not ‘toxic’, but necessary. This is the best checklist you’ll ever get for romantic relationships.
Commentary: The hardest lesson every young adult has to learn is that they are not the main character in everybody’s story. You are the protagonist of your own story, and all things considered, you were the main character in your enabling parent’s story, but now that you’ve grown up, you’re not. So no matter how much you want to be the main character in somebody’s story, your only fooling yourself, because until you are in a legitimate, committed family relationship, your wishful thinking doesn’t really matter to anybody.
Why rejection hurts, the truth about women | Jordan Peterson
“Fearlessness is what love seeks,” Hannah Arendt wrote in her magnificent early work on love and how to live with fear. “Such fearlessness exists only in the complete calm that can no longer be shaken by events expected of the future […] Hence the only valid tense is the present, the Now.”
This notion of presence as the antidote to fear and the crucible of love is as old as the human heart, as old as the consciousness that first felt the blade of anticipatory loss pressed against the exposed underbelly of the longing for connection. Excerpt from The Four Buddhist Mantras for Turning Fear into Love
“To love without knowing how to love, wounds the person we love. To know how to love someone, we have to understand them. To understand, we need to listen […] Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love!” Excerpts from “To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.”
“Who is good, if he knows not who he is? And who knows what he is, if he forgets that things which have been made are perishable, and that it is not possible for one human being to be with another always?” Excerpt from Epictetus on Love and Loss: The Stoic Strategy for Surviving Heartbreak
“Sensuality often hastens the ‘Growth of Love’ so much that the roots remain weak and are easily torn up.” By: Friedrich Nietzsche
“In every encounter, we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.” By: Brennan Manning
“Beware of those who weep with realization, for they have realized nothing.” By: Carlos Casteñeda
“When a man cannot introspectively confront his negative thoughts and emotions, he will always be conquered by them, communicating without composure and hurting all those whom he loves.” Quote paraphrased from “Battle Cry” By: Jason Wilson