I wish I would’ve never met her! When I was a boy, we lived in a house with a big back yard. One night, I had a dream that I was running out the back door chasing an angel—who appeared to be about the same age as me, and as I chased her, she seemed to be floating away and the faster I ran, the farther away she got, until I ran into the back gate. I was left crying because we were both reaching out to each other—I saw her sad face as she floated away into the clouds and then I woke up. I wonder to this day if I had reached her, would she have taken me to heaven, instead of leaving me behind, to endure this hell?
How do I forget it, even though it only happened for a moment? I didn’t want to wake up this morning because you were in my dreams with that same unreadable face, that I can’t erase. It feels like my heart is being stepped on, while it burns. Why do I still feel this way, as if I couldn’t be any more broken? I know I’m alive, but you want to finish me off. I see my life ending, I tried to do the right thing, to walk away with a sad smile and forgive and forget, but you consume my thoughts, like a demon trying to steal a soul, that’s already dead and not worth anything. I don’t know what to do, I wish I had never told you, that I loved you.
After the heartbreak, you’re humbled; the pain slows you down; and your spirit is gone. It’s funny how I think that I’m okay now, but I’m not! When you’re alone, your hurt is all you got and feeling something is better than nothing, but why would I still want to feel broken? It’s odd how smiling and laughing, comes more freely now. I’m not wondering so much, not bingeing so much and when I’m talking to someone else, you’re not on my mind anymore. Can heartbreak save a life, before you came, I didn’t care. Now I want to live and even though it seems, like it’s been years. I’m grateful for that moment, thank you for making me cry, because I haven’t shed happy tears for the longest time. I’m sorry for being the wrong man for you, but like I’ve said over and over again, I will move on. Now I know better, that you should never tell a friend that you love her. The life I used to live was fast, like as if I was running out of time, but you brought good into my life and I have been trying to do better. Like you used to say, it’s crazy how somebody can change you from a distance. Today was okay, I will work some more tomorrow and it goes on. I believe that I’m going to be okay and I hope I will.
People are interesting, the human mind will never be understood, new knowledge is yet to be discovered, every day we learn something different. Some people can take the world by the hand and have it all, except for love. However people that are in love are the worst off, because they are willing to give it all away for unrealistic love. But if anybody finds real love they are on a natural high; an adrenaline rush; lost in the sauce; gone with the wind. I never believed it until now, that love is the best drug, because I would use it, to take advantage, but now it uses me. Life can also be silly, but you got to love it, otherwise it can become toxic, its a hard life, nothing is guaranteed. Life is a blessing that you may never truly understand, some people have it all without knowing, something like winning the lottery. Accomplishing everything in life isn’t satisfying any more, so many people are lost in their imagination, that they can’t see the good things around them, but by then it’s too late. There aren’t too many second chances for love anymore.
By: DavidPoet, 1981-2021
“Fearlessness is what love seeks,” Hannah Arendt wrote in her magnificent early work on love and how to live with fear. “Such fearlessness exists only in the complete calm that can no longer be shaken by events expected of the future […] Hence the only valid tense is the present, the Now.”
This notion of presence as the antidote to fear and the crucible of love is as old as the human heart, as old as the consciousness that first felt the blade of anticipatory loss pressed against the exposed underbelly of the longing for connection. Excerpt from The Four Buddhist Mantras for Turning Fear into Love
“To love without knowing how to love, wounds the person we love. To know how to love someone, we have to understand them. To understand, we need to listen […] Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love!” Excerpts from “To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.”
“Who is good, if he knows not who he is? And who knows what he is, if he forgets that things which have been made are perishable, and that it is not possible for one human being to be with another always?” Excerpt from Epictetus on Love and Loss: The Stoic Strategy for Surviving Heartbreak
“When a man cannot introspectively confront his negative thoughts and emotions, he will always be conquered by them, communicating without composure and hurting all those whom he loves.” Quote paraphrased from “Battle Cry” By: Jason Wilson
“In every encounter, we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.” By: Brennan Manning