Love is not a feeling. It’s a way of being in this world. I am a being of love. I am not making this claim to boast or suggest that I am better than the beings around me. But Jesus commanded us to love one another. The tragedy is that some beings meander through live never really loving someone.
A feeling flickers, a fleeting spark,
A blush, a grin, a thrill in the dark.
But love, true love, a deeper, wider sea,
A way of true being, eternally.
Not just a passion, even an amber will burnout and fade,
But a gentle current, through sun and shade.
A lens through which the world is seen,
With kindness flowing into a horizon serene.
I am a being, fashioned from His grace,
Not claiming higher, or a loftier place.
For in the whispers of a sacred call,
To love another, was the command for all.
Yet some may meander, from greetings to byes,
Untouched by tenderness, unspoken sighs
For another’s sorrow, or another’s joy,
A hollow echo, or a broken toy.
But love is sewn, in the very core,
A way to live, and to give evermore.
To see the light, in every soul you meet,
And offer comfort, on life’s winding street.
So let the feeling, bloom and then subside,
But let your heart, in love’s embrace reside.
A constant presence, a steady gentle breeze,
and for all of these, give thanks upon your knees
Edited by: ElRoyPoet, 2019
In For the Long Haul
This will take the steam out of your kettle! At the end of the day, you’re either a geezer or geezette. So why not try—to get along—before you get moved to the back burner?
“Passion and commitment are widely believed to be the foundation of strong romantic relationships. But a relationship is made of two unique individuals, and personality traits these individuals possess or lack can often make a relationship more likely to endure… Humility appears to be a huge asset to relationships. One study found that people tend to rate this quality highly in their significant other. It also found that someone who is humble is more likely to initiate a romantic relationship, perhaps because they’re less likely to see themselves as “too good” for someone else… The ability to forgive is so important because pain is an inevitable part of any relationship. People mess up. They might say something they don’t mean, be unknowingly inconsiderate or forget an important event. So when looking for a partner, it’s probably a good idea to find someone who recognizes that making mistakes is part of being human.” Excerpt from: This Trait Could Be Key to a Lasting Romance
Lucky in Love
Some people come together for convenience.
Others, because they don’t want to be lonely.
I’m not so sure, what has kept us together?
I’m just so happy, you found me!
The science behind, why some couples stay together and why some don’t make it: When a child is born, the mom naturally bonds with her offspring. Ironically not all moms are able to nurture their children into ideal family relationships. It could be, because of her upbringing that she doesn’t know how to, or circumstances beyond her control (i.e. fatigue, illness, absent partner, etc.). The other factor that comes into play, is the adolescent’s development years and as a result, when they graduate from school, there is a lot of history and certain innate tendencies, that are not easily outgrown, even into maturity.
Consequently, when these young adults start looking for a partner, they are faced with 3 personality types:
1. The “Anxious” who make up about 20% of the population and are overly preoccupied with their partners and whether they love them back.
2. The “Avoidants” who make up about 25% of the population and resort to distancing strategies, to discourage attachment, because it might result in a loss of independence.
3. The “Secures” who make up about 55% the population, these are comfortable giving and receiving love and gravitate towards partners with the capacity to make them happy.
Anxious and avoidant types are drawn to each other, despite their incompatible styles: as the person seeking closeness works harder to get it, their avoidant partner pulls away, thus reaffirming their separate beliefs that relationships are unfulfilling or restrictive. Secures are usually unavailable, because they are already in a relationship. However, the single ones can happily partner with anxious and avoidant types, and even have a steadying effect on them, by helping their partners realize there is no threat.
In conclusion, it’s the normal people who save the day, because only they can neutralize the toxicity in people, (feelings of rejection or standoffish). This is one arena where being different really doesn’t pay off, because the love relationship is old school and will be for generations to come. So, striving to be normal will never go out of style and who knows you might even get lucky! Excerpts from The attachment secret: are you a secure, avoidant or anxious
Poem Analysis:
Love, in its most profound and trans-formative sense, transcends the transient nature of emotion. While feelings of affection, attraction, and passion are undeniably part of the human experience, they are but fleeting currents in the vast ocean of what true love embodies. To understand love as a way of being is to recognize it not as a reaction to external stimuli, but as an internal orientation, a deliberate choice, and a fundamental mode of engaging with the world. This understanding is not a declaration of superiority, but a reflection of a deep calling, a spiritual imperative, and a psychological reality.
The psychological landscape often explores love through the lens of attachment theory, emotional regulation, and interpersonal dynamics. While these frameworks offer valuable insights into the “”expression“ and “experience“ of love, they often fall short of capturing its essence as an inherent state of being. Psychology can illuminate the “how“ of loving behaviors – the secure attachments formed in childhood, the empathy that allows us to connect with another’s pain, the communication skills that foster healthy relationships. However, the concept of being “a being of love“ suggests a more fundamental disposition, a core identity rooted in compassion, kindness, and a genuine desire for the well-being of others. This isn’t to say that such an orientation is innate or effortless; rather, it is a cultivated state, a result of conscious effort and a willingness to prioritize connection and understanding.
The Bible offers a powerful and foundational perspective on love as a way of being. Jesus’ command in John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another,” elevates love from a mere suggestion to a defining characteristic. It is not simply a feeling to be felt, but a mandate to be lived. The love commanded here is not contingent on the other person’s worthiness or appeal; it is an unconditional, outward-focused love, mirroring the divine love extended to humanity. This echoes the profound description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” This passage meticulously details the “behaviors“ and “characteristics“ of love, highlighting it as an active, enduring force rather than a fleeting emotion.
To claim to be a being of love is not an assertion of moral superiority or a boast of inherent goodness. It is a recognition of a profound responsibility and a commitment to a particular path. It is acknowledging the internal work required to shed the layers of self-centeredness, fear, and judgment that can obscure this inherent capacity. It is a continuous process of choosing empathy over indifference, forgiveness over resentment, and understanding over condemnation. This commitment is not about being perfect, but about striving to embody the principles of love in our interactions, our thoughts, and our actions.
Sadly, the reality is that many individuals navigate life without ever truly experiencing or expressing this deeper form of love. They may experience infatuation, familial affection, or even platonic connection, but the transformative power of a love that is a way of being remains elusive. This can stem from a myriad of factors: past trauma that has erected emotional barriers, societal pressures that prioritize individualism and competition over connection, or simply a lack of awareness of the profound potential within. The inability to love in this way is a tragedy, not just for the individuals themselves, but for the world around them, which is deprived of the warmth and light that a being of love can radiate.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
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