Going Against The Current

In the River of Life,
Love seldom flows upstream,
You must paddle.

In the River of Life,
Love seldom flows to the bank,
You must paddle, even harder.

Hawk Nelson: Words (Official Lyric Video)

Poem Analysis: How Brotherly Love turns into Familial Contempt

The poem “Going Against the Current” encapsulates the complexities of familial relationships, specifically focusing on the dynamics between parents and children, as well as among siblings. Through its poignant metaphors, the poem illustrates how love operates within the family unit, revealing that while parental love is often a natural occurrence, children may struggle to express gratitude. Additionally, sibling affection is portrayed as conditional, requiring concerted effort to nurture.

Psychological Perspective

At the heart of the poem is the metaphor “Love seldom flows upstream,” which symbolizes the often unacknowledged and seemingly automatic love that parents give their children. This love is considered a natural instinct—a foundational element of family life. According to attachment theory, established by John Bowlby, the bond between parents and children is crucial for emotional development, fostering secure attachments that have long-lasting effects (Bowlby, 1969). However, children frequently resist acknowledging this love, instead focusing on their own needs and feelings, a phenomenon reflecting developmental psychology. Adolescents, in particular, may struggle with gratitude as they seek independence, often viewing their parents as obstacles rather than allies in their personal journeys.

The psychological implications of this resistance can lead to complex feelings of guilt and bitterness. Research shows that failing to express gratitude can negatively impact mental health. Gratitude has been associated with increased well-being and improved relationships (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). In this context, the poem urges readers to consider the inherent challenges in recognizing and reciprocating parental love, suggesting that children must actively engage in appreciating that love rather than allowing it to flow unnoticed.

Sociological Perspective

When examining sibling relationships, the metaphor “Love seldom flows to the bank” captures the conditional nature of affection between siblings. Unlike the instinctual love parents provide, sibling bonds often depend on shared experiences and emotional investments, making them more susceptible to strains and disruptions. This variable nature of sibling relationships echoes sociologist Jeffrey E. Cohen’s observations on sibling dynamics, which emphasize that sibling affection often requires maintenance and reinforcement to thrive (Cohen, 1993).

The effort required to nurture sibling love underscores the societal influences that shape these relationships. Sibling rivalries, often fueled by competition for parental attention, can create an environment where love is conditional. The poem suggests that, for love to “flow to the bank”—symbolizing a safe haven of mutual respect and support—siblings must actively navigate these challenges. This aligns with the social constructivist perspective, which proposes that relationships are shaped by social norms and familial contexts. By acknowledging the effort needed to cultivate sibling affection, the poem invites readers to reflect on the broader familial structures that impact these bonds.

By weaving together these insights, the poem serves as a thoughtful exploration of familial relationships, reminding readers that love within families is not merely a passive experience but an active journey that demands recognition, appreciation, and effort. Through this lens, the poem encourages a deeper understanding of the complexities of familial love and the necessity of effort in maintaining these essential connections.

Sad Commentary: For a parent, one of the hardest things to do in life is letting go of what he thought or hoped was a real relationship with his offspring. At some point, he comes to the realization that some of his children can stay in his heart but choose not to be in his life.

Hawk Nelson – Live Like You’re Loved (Official Lyric Video)

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” Bible, John 3:16