Cosmic Lover

Even though I love you
with all my heart,
I must follow through.

I can either take the lead,
or we can act together.
However,
if you can’t be true to us,
I must fade away.

It’s not what I do and say.
It’s what you imagine
my intentions are to be.

That’s when you decide,
if it even matters, when I say:
“I love you to the moon and back.”

LOYALTY means DIFFERENT things to MEN and WOMEN: working through the misunderstanding

Spanish Translation:

Aunque te amo
con todo mi corazón,
debo seguir adelante.

Puedo tomar la iniciativa,
o podemos actuar juntos.

Aun asi,
si no puedes ser leal a vosotros,
tendré que alejarme.

No se trata de lo que digo o hago.
Se trata de lo que imaginas
que son mis intenciones.

Es entonces cuando decides,
si es que te importa, cuando digo:
“Te amo hasta la luna y de regreso.”

Gianluca Grignani – Mi Historia Entre Tus Dedos

Op-ed: As we grow up, we often think of ourselves as the center of the universe. We believe that everyone around us is simply a supporting character in our own personal narrative. This sense of self-importance can be comforting, but as we mature, we begin to realize that we are not the main character in everybody’s story.
The hardest lesson that every young adult has to learn is that they are not the main character in everybody’s story. While we may have been the center of our enabling parent’s world growing up, as we branch out on our own, we come to understand that we are just one of many characters in the grand scheme of life.
It can be a tough pill to swallow, realizing that we are not the main focus of everyone around us. We may crave attention, affirmation, and validation from others, but the truth is that until we are in a legitimate, committed family relationship, our wishful thinking doesn’t really matter to anybody else.
We are the protagonist of our own story, with our own hopes, dreams, and struggles. While it is natural to want to be the main character in somebody else’s story, the reality is that we are just a piece of the puzzle in the lives of those around us. This realization can be humbling, but it is also liberating.
Once we understand that we are not the main character in everybody’s story, we can begin to focus on building meaningful relationships with others. We can learn to appreciate the unique roles that each person plays in our lives, and in turn, the roles that we play in theirs.
Ultimately, accepting that we are not the main character in everybody’s story allows us to foster deeper connections with those to whom we matter most. It teaches us empathy, humility, and the value of being a supportive and caring presence in the lives of others.
So, while it may be difficult to come to terms with the fact that we are not the main focus of everyone around us, it is an important lesson to learn. We are all interconnected in this world, each playing an important role in our human relationships. And in the end, that is what’s most important.

“Fearlessness is what love seeks,” Hannah Arendt wrote in her magnificent early work on love and how to live with fear. “Such fearlessness exists only in the complete calm that can no longer be shaken by events expected of the future […] Hence the only valid tense is the present, the Now.”
This notion of presence as the antidote to fear and the crucible of love is as old as the human heart, as old as the consciousness that first felt the blade of anticipatory loss pressed against the exposed underbelly of the longing for connection. Excerpt from The Four Buddhist Mantras for Turning Fear into Love

“To love without knowing how to love, wounds the person we love. To know how to love someone, we have to understand them. To understand, we need to listen […] Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love!” Excerpts from “To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.”

“Who is good, if he knows not who he is? And who knows what he is, if he forgets that things which have been made are perishable, and that it is not possible for one human being to be with another always?” Excerpt from Epictetus on Love and Loss: The Stoic Strategy for Surviving Heartbreak

“Sensuality often hastens the ‘Growth of Love’ so much that the roots remain weak and are easily torn up.” By: Friedrich Nietzsche

“In every encounter, we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.” By: Brennan Manning

“Beware of those who weep with realization, for they have realized nothing.” By: Carlos Casteñeda

“When a man cannot introspectively confront his negative thoughts and emotions, he will always be conquered by them, communicating without composure and hurting all those whom he loves.” Quote paraphrased from “Battle Cry” By: Jason Wilson

5 Signs Someone Is Emotionally Unavailable, Even If They Like You

1. Love Bombing
As the video explains, they overwhelm you with affection early on, then withdraw when things become emotionally intense. This hot-and-cold behavior reflects discomfort with sustained intimacy — a hallmark of avoidant attachment.

2. It’s Only Physical
They engage in physical closeness but resist emotional depth. Avoidant individuals often use physical intimacy as a safe substitute for genuine emotional connection.

3. They Are Workaholics
Work is used as a means to create emotional distance and maintain control. This coping mechanism is common in avoidant attachment, which tends to prioritize independence over connection.

4. They Get Defensive
Defensiveness is a response to emotional discomfort and fear of vulnerability. Instead of engaging or reflecting, they tend to deflect and avoid — classic avoidant behavior.

5. They’re Overly Logical
They intellectualize feelings and dismiss emotions as unreliable or irrational. This emotional detachment aligns with avoidant attachment, which often minimizes or dismisses emotional needs.

6. They’ve Never Been in Love
Their lack of emotional experience typically stems from discomfort with vulnerability, not from a lack of opportunity. Again, this is consistent with avoidant attachment, where emotional intimacy can feel foreign or threatening.

Relationship issues are often driven by avoidant partners who desire love but fear true emotional intimacy. After age 40, these individuals are disproportionately present in the dating pool because they either never committed or exited long-term relationships without doing the emotional work necessary to reconnect deeply.

Poem Explainer:

Structure and Form

The poem employs a free verse structure, which lends a conversational tone to the speaker’s expression. It lacks strict rhyme or meter, allowing for a more personal and emotional flow. This choice enhances the candid nature of the speaker’s feelings.

Themes

1. Love versus. Responsibility: The opening lines express profound love but also a sense of obligation: “Even though I love you / with all my heart, / I must follow through.” This suggests a conflict between personal affection and a sense of duty or decision-making based on the relationship’s dynamics.

2. Agency and Choice: The lines “I can either take the lead, / or we can act together” highlight a tension between individual agency and partnership. The speaker feels the weight of choosing how to engage in the relationship, implying that balance and mutual effort are crucial for it to thrive.

3. Trust and Truth: The conditional statement, “if you can’t be true to us,” introduces doubt and the potential for heartbreak. It speaks to the requirement of honesty in a relationship and the heartbreak that may follow if that trust is broken.

4. Perception and Intent: The lines “It’s not what I do and say. / It’s what you imagine / my intentions are to be.” suggest that the speaker’s intentions may not be clearly understood by the other person. This highlights the idea that love is subject to interpretation and that misunderstandings can occur based on individual perceptions.

5. Emotional Distance: The final lines convey a sense of resignation or acceptance with the phrase “I must fade away.” If the partner can’t be true, the speaker recognizes that they might have to withdraw. The struggle between loving someone and realizing that one may have to let go for their own well-being is poignant in this context.

Imagery and Language

1. “To the moon and back”: This phrase is a well-known expression of deep and boundless love, but its inclusion here is complex. It contrasts the profound love mentioned at the beginning with the uncertainty of whether the feelings will be reciprocated.

2. Conversations and Decisions: The conversational tone and introspective quality of the poem create an atmosphere that feels both intimate and contemplative. This invites readers to reflect on their own relationships and experiences with love and loss.

Conclusion

Overall, this poem paints a picture of love as both uplifting and burdensome, emphasizing the necessity for mutual trust and clarity in relationships. It conveys the emotional complexity of loving someone who may not be able to reciprocate or fully understand the speaker’s feelings—an eloquent reminder of the challenges inherent in human connections. The speaker’s willingness to prioritize integrity and self-respect over enduring an unfulfilling relationship resonates deeply, highlighting the delicate balance between love and personal boundaries.