People Who Need People Poems

Help Me, Help You

I have to blame others for my shortcomings, because if those who loved me had tried harder, I wouldn’t have these issues. If those who tried to help me, had succeeded, there’d be no regrets.

If my relatives were winners, I’d be better off, but since they’re not, I have to treat them like the losers that they are, by giving them the little bit of empathy that I have left.

I resent that I need to be saved, because if I didn’t need charity, I wouldn’t have to pretend that I cared. I wouldn’t need anybody, I’d get all that loving, all by myself.

It’s hard to get attached to people, because if you give them the silent treatment, they don’t seem to understand. So I compensate, by getting emotionally attached to things instead.

I won’t admit that I’m flawed, because low self-esteem always leads to a bitter end. So I’ll just have to compensate, because the show must go on. Everything that happens to me, is always someone else’s fault.

Character Flaws

I have a bee’s nest in my brain,
So don’t come too close,
I might sting you.

I have a snake pit in my heart,
So don’t be provoking me,
I might bite you.

But if you dare, to get involved with me,
Be warned, it’s going to cost you dearly;
For I also, have demands,
That you’ll have to meet.

You might think, I’m fearless,
I can defend myself!
But the truth is,
If I’m ever confronted,
You’d feel sorry for me;
Because I’m afraid,
I really don’t know,
How brave you’d need to be,
To defend myself, from me?

Antifragility: How to use suffering to get stronger

“Are you a victim or survivor? Brokenness isn’t a part of who you really are, it isn’t your authentic self. Whether we see ourselves as a victim or a survivor, this self-image has a direct bearing on how our life will progress.
As a victim we become self-focused, we go inward and allow the suffering to grow. We blame others for how we feel and believe people are trying to intentionally hurt us. A victim, even years later, is still powerless. Victim-hood has dire consequences that must be out grown.
Just because you survived an incredible hurt or betrayal doesn’t mean that you are a survivor. An over-comer embraces life and doesn’t hide from it due to fear. Victims feel helpless, whereas survivors have reclaimed their power and taken back the control of their lives. Through survivor-ship we take responsibility for our choices and our feelings and consciously decide that we are no longer a victim. Survivor-ship is a choice to heal.” Excerpt from victim or survivor, do you know the difference?

Commentary: Throughout life, individuals face numerous challenges that can alter their beliefs and perspectives. It’s common for people to blame others for their faults and shortcomings because acknowledging personal flaws can lead to low self-esteem. Blaming others for one’s weaknesses perpetuates a victim mentality and hinders personal growth. While it is true that upbringing and environment play a significant role in shaping one’s character, it is up to an individual to take responsibility for their own lives.

Validating an individual based solely on their abilities can foster a competitive and intolerant mindset where people are encouraged to focus solely on themselves and their achievements, which could potentially disregard the needs of others. This prejudiced attitude can create a hostile environment that does not foster compassion and empathy. Consequently, interacting with impatient bigots becomes counterproductive as they may perceive non-affluent people to be ignorant or hysterical. Bullies, in particular, demonstrate no sympathy and escalate confrontations, callously pushing the victim to experience anxiety, depression, or even a nervous breakdown.

When someone’s worth is based solely on their perceived status, it can lead to the belief that those who have achieved the most are most deserving of resources and opportunities, while those who have not are deemed unworthy. This attitude punishes individuals facing hardships, as their struggles are seen as a result of their own inadequacies, rather than a product of various life circumstances. It is important to recognize that individuals are defined by their struggles, experiences, and values, not just their accomplishments, in order to create a more peaceful community that fosters human connection and belonging.

Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile

What to do if your inner voice is cruel

“You’re either with me or against me”: That narcissist attitude of yours is self-defeating, because how can you expect me to be with you, if you’re really working against the real you, so in order for me to protect you from your pseudo–self, I’m obliged to do the opposite of what you’re asking me to do!

How Our Past Influences Our Present

The Power of Personal Accountability: Overcoming the Victim Mentality

Throughout life, individuals encounter a myriad of challenges that shape their beliefs and perspectives. In the face of difficulties, a common human tendency is to blame external sources—friends, family, society—for one’s shortcomings. This mindset not only stunts personal growth but also cultivates a victim mentality that impedes the development of resilience and self-empowerment. It is imperative to shift our focus from blame to personal accountability, recognizing that our worth is defined by our struggles, experiences, and values, rather than our successes alone.

The Allure of Blame

Blaming others can be a tempting avenue for individuals dealing with failure or disappointment. According to psychologist Martin Seligman (1991), people often exhibit “learned helplessness,” where they believe that they lack control over their circumstances, leading them to adopt a victim role. This attitude is particularly prevalent in cultures that emphasize achievements and material success, where societal standards can be harsh and demanding (Pawelski, 2020). Consequently, many opt to attribute their faults to external factors instead of addressing their own shortcomings, which can lead to low self-esteem and stagnation in personal development.

The Implications of a Victim Mentality

The inclination to blame others creates a cycle of contempt and lack of empathy. Research indicates that individuals who maintain a victim mentality are often less capable of forming meaningful relationships (Henderson, 2016). By judging others solely based on success, they fail to appreciate the complexities of human experience, which includes struggles and failures. This narrow view of worth leads to distorted perceptions of happiness and can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as individuals may find themselves perpetually unsatisfied with their lives and the people around them.

Furthermore, the ramifications extend beyond personal well-being. A society that fosters blame and a victim mentality can breed division and hostility. Empathy, understanding, and mutual support are essential for building stronger communities. Recognizing that everyone faces challenges—and that these challenges shape their character—can cultivate an environment where individuals encourage one another rather than disparage those struggling (Seligman, 2002).

A Call for Personal Responsibility

While the influence of family and societal expectations is undeniable, it is ultimately up to the individual to take responsibility for their own life. This necessitates a moving away from a mindset of blame towards one of accountability. Individuals must learn to confront their flaws rather than deflect them onto others. This process involves self-reflection and the willingness to accept that mistakes are part of the human experience. When individuals acknowledge their struggles, they not only foster personal growth but also contribute to a more compassionate society.

To illustrate, consider the story of J.K. Rowling, whose journey to success was fraught with personal hardships, including poverty and depression. Rather than blaming her circumstances, she used her experiences as fuel for her creativity, ultimately becoming one of the world’s most beloved authors. Rowling’s narrative highlights the notion that our worth is virtually linked to how we navigate our struggles and not merely defined by our successes (Rowling, 2008).

In conclusion, the shift from a victim mentality to one of personal accountability is essential for fostering personal growth and emotional well-being. By recognizing that our worth is shaped by our experiences, struggles, and values—and not solely by our successes—we can create a more empathetic and supportive community. Overcoming the urge to blame and embracing personal responsibility not only leads to individual empowerment but also lays the foundation for a society grounded in understanding and mutual support. It is time to challenge the tendency to look for blame and to encourage a culture that champions resilience, growth, and compassion.