Why Do I Have To Ask?

“I worked hard on that
But you don’t really care
You wouldn’t even look
If I didn’t ask you to
Why do I have to ask?

Seems I’m wasting my time
Maybe I should just quit
I’m not doing it for glory
But you could show
Just a little enthusiasm

If it’s that horrible
Tell me and I’ll stop
I’m only looking
For a little encouragement
Calm my insecurity
Just a little bit
Why do I have to ask?

If the people I love
Can’t be bothered to look
Then who will?
I shouldn’t have to ask.”

By: Tammi Fitzpatrick © 2019 
(reprinted with permission)

Listen to Mandisa—Stronger song

Spanish Translation

Trabajé muy duro en esto,
Pero realmente,
No parece que te importa,
Ni siquiera lo miras,
Si no te lo pido.
¿Por qué tengo que preguntar?

Parece que estoy perdiendo el tiempo,
Tal vez debería dejarlo,
No lo estoy haciendo por la gloria,
Pero podrías mostrar,
Solo un poco de entusiasmo.

¡Si es tan feo,
Dime y me detendré,
Solo estoy buscando,
Un poco de aliento,
Para calmar mi inseguridad,
Solo un poco!
¿Por qué tengo que preguntar?

Si la gente que yo amo,
No puede molestarse en mirar.
¿Entonces quién lo hará?
No debería tener que preguntar.

Traducido por: ElRoy, 2019

“Trying too hard to get what you want in life—like love, respect, and happiness—often has the opposite effect: you end up lonely, dejected, and miserable. Desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience; accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. But this extends to mostif not allaspects of our mental health and relationships:

1. Control—The more we strive to control our own feelings and impulses, the more powerless we will feel. Our emotional life is unruly and often uncontrollable, and it’s the desire to control it that makes it worse. Conversely, the more we accept our feelings and impulses, the more we’re able to direct and process them.
2. Freedom—The constant desire for more freedom ironically limits us in a number of ways. Similarly, it’s only by limiting ourselves—by choosing and committing to certain things in life—that we truly exercise our freedom.
3. Happiness—Trying to be happy makes us less happy. Accepting unhappiness makes us happy.
4. Security—Trying to make ourselves feel as secure as possible generates more insecurity. Being comfortable with uncertainty is what allows us to feel secure.
5. Love—The more we try to make others love and accept us, the less they will, and more importantly, the less we will love and accept ourselves.
6. Respect—The more we demand respect from others, the less they will respect us. The more we ourselves respect others, the more they will come to respect us.
7. Trust—The more we try to make people trust us, the less inclined they will be to do so. The more we trust others, the more they will trust us in return.
8. Confidence—The more we try to feel confident, the more insecurity and anxiety we will create. The more we accept our faults, the more comfortable we will feel in our own skin.
9. Change—The more we desperately want to change ourselves, the more we will always feel as though we are not enough. Whereas, the more we accept ourselves, the more we will grow and evolve because we’ll be too busy actually doing cool stuff to notice.
10. Meaning—The more we pursue a deeper meaning or purpose to our lives, the more self-obsessed and shallow we will become. The more we try to add meaning to others’ lives, the more profound impact we will feel.

These internal, psychological experiences exist on an inverted curve because they are both the cause and the effect of the same thing: our minds. When you desire happiness, your mind is simultaneously the thing that is desiring and the target of its own desires.”

Excerpts from Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards Theory

 

 

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