Addicted To Love

Addiction is self-love.
I am loving myself,
By doing what gives me pleasure and comfort,
And numbs the pain of anxiety and rejection.

I have so much love to give,
But the objects of my affection, never agree with me,
So I have to love myself—
Since I don’t have anybody else in mind.

Addiction means to crave—
To give pleasure to somebody,
And when I don’t have somebody to give it to,
I internalize it, or I hire a surrogate, who charges by the hour.

When I come to terms with all my issues,
I loathe myself,
Because my brain surrendered,
And nobody wants to be around a loser.

But what if,

I wasn’t created with an addictive personality,
And if I could channel my desire—
To somebody else, anybody will do,
And if there really was a cure, for what injures me and you?

Would I then—have peace;
Would I then—lead a normal life,
If I had only given my affection, when it was permitted?
Because I was created to love, and not to be addicted!

Hum, maybe…

By: ElRoy © 2017

Listen to Hawk Nelson—Live Like You’re Loved song

Commentary: “Desire for pleasure is much more powerful, than the memory of pain.” When we’re feeling exhausted and our resistance levels are down, we can deceive ourselves into believing that we deserve a little illicit fun in our lives. But there’s a reason, why it’s called a guilty pleasure; you will be punished for it; it could be immediately or become a long-term addiction that haunts you and your loved ones.
The addict remembers the positive experiences associated with the drug or activity, and in times of stress this motivates the individual to take the substance or repeat the behavior. Ironically, his family remembers the negative experiences, the suffering, and the fear that the abuse will never stop.
Addicts want something after they have ceased liking it, even if they realize it’s harmful effects. Addicts tell their doctors: “I hate this drug and it doesn’t even give me much of a high anymore. It is just that somehow it seems like I can’t be without it. And I keep hoping that my next high will be a good one, like my mind remembers, it was in the beginning!”
The brain is tricking the addict. The reason the high was so good in the beginning, was because it was medicine for whatever illness was afflicting the subject (stress and depression). Now he has a different condition (addiction) and consequently a different therapy is required.

Read article on how to disarm addiction triggers

“You often hear that pot leads to harder drugs. But I think alcohol is what leads you to everything, because it takes away the fear. The worst drug experimentation, I ever did was because I was drunk, and didn’t care.” By: Chris Cornell (1964-2017)

Read Letting Go of Who You’ve Been for Who You Can Become

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