Even though,
I have suffered from hangovers hundreds of times,
I always end up telling myself in the morning:
“I will never binge again”.
Because the pain is unbearable!

But in the evening, when I start feeling melancholy,
I conveniently forget the promise, I made to myself,
And eventually, I breakdown and give-in to my habits.
At first, I tell myself:
“There is no guilt, there is no shame,
If you only indulge in one, and then, don’t do it again.”

But just like eating potato chips, I can’t have just one.
My brain begins to tell me:
“Have another, just one more”,
And swears to me:
That ‘tomorrow’s hangover’, this time, won’t be so bad!
But hides from me, the reality,
That ‘tomorrow’s good day’, isn’t guaranteed.

By: ElRoyPoet © 2018

The Allure of Pleasure: Understanding the Power of Desire Over Pain

The human tendency to pursue pleasure despite potential consequences is a profound and complex aspect of our psychology. As the adage suggests, “the desire for pleasure is often stronger than the memory of pain.” This phenomenon is especially evident in addictive behaviors, where individuals prioritize immediate gratification over long-term well-being, often leading to destructive patterns that affect not only themselves but also those around them.

At the core of this behavior is the brain’s reward system, primarily governed by the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reinforcement. When engaging in pleasurable activities—such as consuming substances or indulging in certain behaviors—the brain’s reward pathways are activated, producing feelings of euphoria. This biological mechanism is evolutionarily designed to encourage behaviors necessary for survival, like eating and reproduction. However, in the context of addiction, these pathways become hijacked, causing the individual to seek out the pleasurable stimulus compulsively, despite adverse consequences.

Psychologist B.F. Skinner’s principles of operant conditioning explain how these behaviors are reinforced. When a person experiences a positive outcome—like temporary relief from stress or a fleeting high—they are more likely to repeat the behavior. Over time, this pattern solidifies into a habitual response, making it difficult to resist even when aware of the harm. The addict’s memory of positive experiences associated with the activity often outweighs the negative memories of pain and suffering, motivating continued pursuit of the substance or behavior.

Moreover, the concept of dissonance theory, introduced by Leon Festinger, sheds light on the internal conflicts faced by individuals caught in this cycle. They may rationalize their actions—believing they “deserve” indulgence or that they can control it—despite knowing the destructive potential. This cognitive dissonance allows them to reconcile conflicting thoughts and feelings, maintaining their behavior and delaying acknowledgment of their problem.

The family’s perspective often centers on the negative consequences—the suffering, fear, and chaos caused by the addiction. This divergence between the addict’s focus on pleasure and loved ones’ focus on pain creates a psychological divide. The addict’s memory of pleasure, reinforced by dopamine-driven reward pathways, often overshadows the sober reality of harm and loss. This internal conflict underscores the difficulty of overcoming addiction, as the brain’s craving for pleasure can overpower rational judgment.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial in addressing addiction. Interventions rooted in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) aim to reframe thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Additionally, medications such as naltrexone can modulate the brain’s reward system, reducing cravings by blocking the euphoric effects of substances.

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” By: Oscar Wilde

While we can’t control the feelings and thoughts that pop into our heads, we can control what we do with them. Bricker’s work using acceptance and commitment therapy in smoking cessation programs suggests we shouldn’t keep telling ourselves to stop thinking about an urge; instead, we must learn better ways to cope. The same applies to other distractions like checking our phones too much, eating junk food, or excessive shopping. Rather than trying to fight the urge, we need new methods to handle intrusive thoughts.
Use this 4-step method to handle unwanted thoughts that can derail your focus.
Step 1: Look for the Discomfort That Precedes the Distraction, Focusing In on the Internal Trigger
Step 2: Write Down the Trigger
Step 3: Explore Your Sensations
Step 4: Beware of Liminal Moments
Excerpt from How to Disarm Internal Triggers of Distractions

How Childhood Trauma Leads to Addiction

Nearly 60 million adults in the United States live with a mental health condition, however, only about 50% receive treatment, because of a variety of factors. According to the American Psychological Association, 20 million children in the U.S. have also been diagnosed with a mental health disorder and that number is estimated to be growing.

Mental health treatment in the U.S. cost $106.5 billion in 2019, according to a report from the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality — of which private insurance paid about a third. In 2021, pediatric mental health conditions were associated with $59 billion in household spending, and made up 46.6% of all pediatric medical spending.

As the stakes get higher for patients with more serious mental health needs, so do the costs. A 2024 study found that residential addiction treatment centers for minors are “limited and costly.” The average cost quoted for a month of treatment was more than $26,000. Excerpt from: Their son was ‘too unstable to function outside of hospital.’

“You often hear that pot leads to harder drugs. But I think alcohol is what leads you to everything because it takes away the fear. The worst drug experimentation I ever did was because I was drunk and didn’t care.” — Chris Cornell, frontman of Soundgarden (1964–2017)

Addicts want something after they have stopped liking it, even if they realize its harmful effects. They tell their doctors: “I hate this drug, and it doesn’t even give me much of a high anymore. It’s just that somehow it seems like I can’t be without it. I keep hoping that my next high will be a good one, like I remember from the beginning!”

The brain is tricking the addict. The reason the high was so good initially was that the drug acted as medicine for whatever illness was afflicting the individual (stress, anxiety, depression). Now, with a different condition—addiction—a different therapy is required.

The Danger of Self-medicating: “Cravings can repeatedly override plans and resolutions to moderate or abstain from drug use, and this can be a disruptive, frustrating, demoralizing and traumatizing experience for those who battle these cravings—an experience that for some lasts a lifetime.[…] While there are various interpretations of the exact role of dopamine, it is well established that psychoactive drugs cause artificially high bursts of phasic dopamine to be released by midbrain dopamine neurons. […] When drugs are encountered, dopamine is released in anticipation of reward, but then the drug itself—due to its chemical effects—causes an additional dopamine boost when ingested, signalling that the drug is ever increasing in value. The result, on this mainstream view, is that these boosts in dopamine trigger cravings that overestimate the amount of reward that is expected, and so explain the excessive motivational pull of cravings.[…] People who use drugs want to numb out, to feel alive, to feel accepted or socially connected, to be freed from mental or physical pain (including withdrawal symptoms), to not feel anxious, to feel included. These emotional experiences themselves can become the objects of the desires driving addiction, and drugs are a vehicle to satisfy them, at least temporarily. A craving for a cigarette can be a desire for control and order in a stressful environment. An alcohol craving can aim at feeling comforted and safe. A craving for ketamine can be a desire to feel relaxed and relieved from worries. In severe addiction, a craving might aim at a feeling of complete self-annihilation, to be freed, no matter the cost, from the painful conditions of daily life. […] Cravings are sensitive to emotional and psychological needs and values, and this helps to explain why they are so motivating. Imagine a mundane craving to check Instagram or Twitter. Built into that craving, one might also find a desire for attention, validation, social connection or interaction, a cure for loneliness, emotional numbing, maybe the self-punishing urge to compare and despair, or for what the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau called amour-propre, a form of self-love that is constituted by the recognition or approval of others. Next time you find yourself having a craving, reflect on how you experience it. Is it your brain anticipating a spike in dopamine, a flood of pleasure? ” Excerpt from Why we crave

“’JUST SAY NO’ to taboo experimentation, because just like illicit drugs, after you try it for the first time, you might like it, but by then it’s too late to go back, because you’re already addicted.” By: B. Bondman

Poem Analysis: Personal Reflection on Temptation and Self-Control

Reading my own words in this poem, I realize how often I find myself caught in the cycle of indulgence and regret. The recurring theme of hangovers and promises made in the morning echoes my personal struggles with self-control, especially when it comes to my addictions and other temptations. I see my own behavior reflected in the lines I wrote—how I vow never to binge again, only to find myself succumbing to temptation later that very same evening.

The poem captures that familiar feeling of rationalizing my choices. I tell myself, “There is no guilt, there is no shame, if you only indulge in one, and then don’t do it again.” It’s a comforting lie I tell myself, a mental trick to justify my actions. But deep down, I know that one often leads to more. The analogy of potato chips resonates with me—how I can’t have just one—because my mind begins to persuade me to have “just one more,” promising that it won’t be so bad tomorrow.

What strikes me most is the honesty about the illusion of control. I often convince myself that I can handle it, that ‘tomorrow’s hangover’ won’t be as severe, or that ‘tomorrow’s good day’ is guaranteed. Yet, I’m painfully aware that this is a false hope. Life’s unpredictability means that tomorrow’s health and well-being are never assured, and my attempts to sugarcoat that truth only delay the inevitable.

Writing this poem has made me reflect on how easy it is to fall into these cycles—how the desire for momentary relief or pleasure can overshadow the importance of self-discipline. It’s a reminder that real strength lies in resisting these urges, even when it’s difficult. The recurring pattern of promising myself “never again” and then breaking that promise is a personal battle I face, and this poem is my honest acknowledgment of that struggle.

Ultimately, I see this as a call for mindfulness. Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward change. While I may still stumble, understanding my tendencies helps me to be more compassionate toward others who are also struggling like myself and, perhaps, someday, to break free from this cycle of indulgence and regret.

It is my hope that other addicts will stop living in denial and acknowledge that they also have a problem. Only by facing the truth can we begin the journey of recovery and find a way out of the cycle that keeps us trapped. Recognizing our struggles is the first step toward healing, growth, and ultimately, freedom from the patterns that hold us back. Recovery is possible, but it starts with honesty.